Smiling silver
by Catelynora
Summary: Alternative Universe: Castiel got stabbed but survived. Dean takes care of him. Sam starts to wonder about feelings and Bobby stands besides and shakes his head.  Castiel/Dean/Sam
1. Prologue

Prologue  
><em>Fallen Angel<em>

The street lamps guttered and a cold breath rushed through the hair of the guy in the trenchcoat. It had been a rough day without any sign of success. The steps behind him got closer. He tried to run faster but thank the first wound they did to him, he couldn't help it.

'Hey! you bastard! You can't run for the rest of your life. Why not end this pain?', they called for him.

'I'm not what you think I am. Please let me go.'

'Of course you are. You are one of these bitches of Lucifer. A fucked up demon, that's what you are.', they shouted at him.

'How many times do I have to repeat it? I'm an angel... a heaven's spirit. Now let me go.'

'You are a freak. That's it. Nothing but a freak.', the angel heard his tracker only a few steps behind him.

'Here you are.', the men laughed and stabbed a knife trough the angel's back.

'Another one we got rid of.', they said and laughed.

The helpless guy carried his hurt body to the next phone box. After he locked himself in the box he sank down on his feet and if anybody would have been near him, one might have seen a tear running down his face.


	2. When i wake up in the morning

Chapter 1

Dean woke up from the sound of his mobile ringing. Which damned douchebag dared to call him at this time? Even Sam lay in his bed and slept, so it couldn't be later than 5 o'clock.

‚Hello?', Dean tried to sound awake.

‚Hello Dean. It's Castiel. I... wanted to ask for an invitation to your room.'

'Are you that dumb or are you kidding me?', Dean replied.

'Well the last time I appeared you told me humans don't come into other humans rooms without an invitation.', Castiel claimed through the phone.

'Hell, this guy drives me crazy!', Dean mumbled into Sam's direction who had just woken up from Dean's voice..

'What did you say? I didn't catch the last...', Castiel said.

'I didn't talk to you. So why do you need to see us and um... enter our room?', Dean asked.

'So you invite me to come to your room?', Castiel asked uncertainly.

'Yes I do.', Dean groaned.

Not a second later Castiel stood in front of Deans bed.

He looked tired and his trenchcoat was soaked with dark indefinable liquids.

'So what for God's sake was so important you had to wake me up at...this time?', Dean asked.

'I got this thing.', Castiel replied in a husky voice.

'Sorry, but am I supposed to read your mind or are you going to tell us what you mean by that?', Dean asked after a while.

'I mean this...', Castiel said and put his trenchcoat aside. His shirt was torn in pieces and soaked with blood.

'What happened?', Sam asked and jumped out of his bed.

'I was stabbed by some stupid hunters who actually thought I was a demon.', Castiel said and nearly laughed about the stupidity of these humans.

'God, what did they use? You're bleeding like hell. Why didn't you just heal yourself?', Dean asked bewildered.

'An angels sword. One of heavens weapons. Kills both, demon and angel.', Castiel said and coughed. A little bit blood dropped out of his mouth. 'Well it's supposed to do that. They just didn't do it right I guess.'

'Sam? Any idea what to do?', Dean yelled.

'I...I will go and call Bobby, he'll know something. Try to calm him and clean and sew the wound.', with these words Sam closed the door after himself.

Dean gripped Castiel's shoulder only seconds before he fainted.

Dean carried Castiel to his bed.

He had to take care of Castiel's wounds. Maybe it was good, that Castiel fainted, this way Dean had not to worry if he hurt him.

Damned, Dean thought as he saw how deep the wound was.

Oh Castiel, what did they do to you? When Dean had rubbed the blood off Castiel's hip, he tried to stop the bleeding, but it seemed to become worse with everything Dean did. Finally he decided to sew the wound first.

He took some whiskey to disinfect the wound and held a needle into the flame of his lighter. When he first stitched in the wound, Castiel shivered.

Dean realised that the angel wasn't asleep at all, instead he felt every little touch of Dean's.

'Cass? Do you hear me? Hey.', Dean said and it almost sounded like he wept. 'hunmgh', Castiel moaned and managed to open his eyes.

'It's ok. Just once more.', Dean promised and held the needle in front of Castiel, as if he wanted to proof, that he didn't lie. He stitched the needle through Castiel's flesh and looked more and more worried. 'Alright, just once more. You'll be fine. Shhh.', Dean said and knew he tried to calm himself with these lies. The wound in Castiel's thin body was still horrible large and there was definitely more than one stitch left to make.

'I'm so sorry Cass. Hang in there dude.', Dean mumbled and kept on stitching. Under every of Dean's touches Castiel groaned and shivered.

He knew Dean did his best, but this pain was far behind bearable.

Once again everything around Castiel became black.


	3. I will fix you

Chapter 2

'No. No! Bloody hell. Don't you dare to die while I'm with you.', Dean shouted and hugged the suddenly lifeless body.

He pressed down the angels chest a few times and suddenly he couldn't fight his tears anymore.

'Cass, I beg you.', Dean whispered. The angel coughed a little bit of blood again. 'Alright, I will fix you. Listen? I will fix you. Just stay awake ok?', Dean tried hard not to forget to breath.

He finally made the last prick and looked into Castiel's eyes. They were swollen from tears and had dark circles under them, but even though Dean was pretty sure he had never seen so honest and kind eyes before.

'Like I sad. I will fix you.', Dean managed a smile and started to bandage Castiel's torso. 'soon you will do fine.'

'hmm.', Castiel said silently.

'You can't imagine what you look like. So much blood. Dude. You scared the hell out of me, know that?', Dean said with a touch of sarcasm in his voice.

Dean kept looking at the angel. How could someone look that heart melting? Hell, he needed something to drink, otherwise he might have been fought by his emotions.

Dean finished the bandage, he looked quite contented with the result.

It seemed like the wound stopped bleeding and Dean couldn't figure out any other cuts.

'Ok. How do you feel?', Dean asked friendly.

'I'm...fine.', Castiel said, but he didn't sound convincing.

Always these reckless angels, Dean thought and had a closer look at the angels neck.

It was blue from the dark bruises on his skin. 'maybe you should try to sleep a little.', Dean proposed, but just in the second he said it he recognised that the angel already was asleep.

From what he saw in Castiel's face, the procedure had been worse than Castiel had said.

He was pale as a piece of paper and his lips shined from the blood he had spit.

Some minutes later Sam came in. He smelled the rusty, sharp smell of blood. Their motel rooms never looked really clean or tidy but at the moment it looked like a battlefield. From what Sam could see, Castiel must have lost a lot of blood.

'Bobby has no idea how we could help him. He said Castiel must have been very lucky the hunters didn't thrust the knife through his heart, he might have been dead by now.', Sam chattered after he caught Deans attention by clearing his throat silently.

'Shh, I just made him sleep.' Dean whispered.

'Oh, sorry. So what do we do now? You know I've got this trace of the vampire tribe in Missouri. Shall we take Cass with us, or do you want me to go after the vampires on my own?', Sam asked more carefully.

'I can't let you go alone, see what happened to Cass when he went on his own, and he's an angel.', Dean pointed at Castiel.

'We will drive to Bobby's and then you and Bobby can hunt the vampires and I will care about Cass.', Dean proposed.

Sam couldn't think of the last time he had seen his brother this emotional, this worried.

'So you will stay home with the invalid? When did you become a nurse?', Sam tried to joke.

'Sam, I don't want to lose any of you, not again, damned. Now quit being an dumbass, cause that's my part, and help me to pack our stuff.', Dean said in a sharp voice.


	4. Sleeping beauty

Chapter 3

Twenty minutes later they finished packing. Sam looked around, this motel room was one more place he had called 'home' for about a week. Would he ever have a chance to settle down like Dean tried?

'So what do we do with sleeping beauty?', Sam asked.

Dean took his keys out of his jacket and threw them to Sam.

'You drive and I sit on the backseats ...with him.', he added and tried to wake up Castiel.

After some painful minutes everybody was on board of the Impala.

'So, you are sure 'bout that?', Sam asked and looked back.

What he saw made him smile, these two strongest and toughest guys he ever knew lay on the backseat of the Impala, shoulder to shoulder and completely tired from the way out of the motel and into the car.

'Well, I take this as a yes.', he said and started the engines.

The first two hours went by without any problems.

Dean didn't sleep, but didn't dare to move in order not to wake Castiel.

Castiel woke up during the ride, but he decided to keep his eyes closed, when he recognised that Dean secured his body with his arms. He never felt that way before, so safe and so cosy. Castiel didn't want this moment to end. Neither did Dean, but none of them dared to speak it out.

When they arrived at Bobby's, Dean helped the wounded angel out of the car. 'Hey you three. Seems like Castiel is our invalid this time? Ok sorry. Dean you better bring him upstairs, I've tidied up my old office, there's a bed in there.',  
>Bobby welcomed the three of them and hugged Sam.<br>'Anyway, good to see ya boys.'

When Dean had brought Castiel to the office they met up for dinner.  
>Bobby had done his best to comfort the boys, even though he wasn't sure if the bond between Castiel and the boys was a good thing.<br>But he had seen the way Dean looked at Castiel.  
>He knew the boys as good he himself and Dean was definitely nobody who showed his feelings to everybody else, but in this case he appeared to be truly afraid, probably even as much as he was when Sam was about to die.<p> 


	5. first aid

Chapter 4

'It's very good Bobby, thank you.', Sam said, polite as usual.  
>'Um, Dean? I've talked to Bobby. 'Bout the vampire tribe...you know. Well, we decided to leave tomorrow. If it's ok for you.'<p>

Dean felt a little overlooked, but the vision of some time with Castiel made him forget about this and anyway he really needed some holiday.

'Yeah. Sure. But please take care of yourselves, hospital's full!', Dean answered ironically as usual. Once more Bobby saw this expression in Dean's face.

'Ok. And you are sure, that you can handle Cass?', Sam asked.

'Hell, I have fought against the apocalypse, I think I will be able to take care of one injured angel.', Dean said and put another serving on his plate.

After they finished dinner, Dean went back upstairs and looked after Castiel.  
>When he opened the door he saw the angel and a soft smile flashed across his lips. He couldn't help it, he had to smile when he saw Castiel sleeping blissfully. Dean stepped into the room and looked at the angel. Deep inside himself he knew from this moment on he would never feel the same about Castiel.<p>

'Dean?', Castiel breathed.

'Cass?', Dean asked and hoped Castiel didn't woke up because of him.

'I'm cold.', Castiel said and looked up to Dean.  
>Without a second's hesitation Dean pulled his shirt over his head and lay down next to Castiel.<p>

'What do you do that for?' Castiel asked and bowed his head to his shoulder, like he always did, when he didn't understand human behaviour.

'It's something you learn in first aid lessons, body warmth is the easiest way to keep people warm.' Dean explained and opened his arms, like he wanted to hug the angel.

'Well then...' Castiel said and gave himself into Dean's arms.

It felt good to be that close to him, no not only good but pretty brilliant.

Dean felt the shivering body between his arms and he knew he would never want him to go.

In the early morning Sam and Bobby were ready to go and Sam just wanted to say goodbye to Dean, when he discovered some mankind's mystery. He opened the door to Bobby's office and found Dean and Castiel in Castiel's bed. He decided not to think too much about it. Castiel must have become cold or something. He took one last look of Dean and closed the door when he left.

It was a rainy and foggy morning when the two men left the junkyard. The bigger one of them started the engines of a grey van. The yellow headlights tore the darkness in half, when they entered the highway.

'So, we hunt a tribe of vampires. Just for protocol, they are obsessed by Eve, right? Which means, she will know we come for her or them, right?', the bigger one asked.

'Yes, yes and yep again. Doesn't make anything better, but leastwise we know exactly what we hunt.', the elder guy answered and tried to look cheering, which caused his brow to be furrowed with wrinkles.

'You don't need to cheer me up anymore, Bobby. I think my time in hell made me grow up. Let's concentrate on killing these beasts.'

Dean woke up from something around his chest. He opened one eye cautiously and spotted a strand of fuzzy, brown hair. Of course it was Castiel who lay next to him, but he felt like this had to be a dream. 'Did you sleep well?', Castiel asked and pressed himself against Dean's body.

Dean sighed silently.  
>'I'm sorry.', Castiel said and blushed.<p>

'Oh I'm fine, it's just...', Dean started. Then he ruffled through the angel's hair.

'What are you doing that for?', Castiel asked, but he had to confess he liked the way Dean's fingers slid through his mane.

'Not exactly for any reason... I'd like to try something.', Dean muttered and put his hand in Castiel's neck. He slowly bend down on him and skimmed his lips softly.

Castiel wasn't sure what they were about to do, but it felt good. He opened his mouth a little bit and kissed him back as good as he could.

So warm, so close. Dean felt the angel around him, he never wanted this to end. Never.

'Dean?', Castiel said in a rattling voice. 'I umm...really like this, but... my wound still hurts and...'

'God, I'm so sorry. I totally... I think I'd better go.', Dean said and was about to leave.

'No, don't. Maybe we can...do something else?', Castiel asked.

At the same time Sam and Bobby reached the small town where they presumed the vampires to be. It was a truly ugly place on earth, a lot of rain, less sun and a couple of boring and annoying people. In other words: A paradise for vampires.

'Bloody hell...so here we go again, huh?', Bobby said.

'So, we gotta start somewhere. I will go and ask some people in the centre if they heard something and you go and do the policeman-thing, after that we meet up at...let's say twelve and discuss what to do next. Alright?', Sam told while he searched the car for some fake ID cards.

'Alright! See ya then.', Bobby said and left.  
>Yes see ya then, Sam thought slightly annoyed. First he had to leave Dean with Castiel. Now he was left on his own too. Not that he didn't like some time for himself, but somehow he didn't like his brother to be together with Castiel for too long. He walked down the nearly empty road and stepped into the first cafe he saw.<p>

The doorbells rang when he entered the small room and the smell of old coffee and fatty doughnuts reached his nostrils.

'Hello, came for a coffee Sir?', a young barista asked and smiled up to Sam.

'Yes, I think a coffee might keep me from falling asleep. Is it always that calm in this town?'

'Yes, normally it is. But to be honest right now the whole town is under shock. A couple of girls died during a camping trip near the forest. Here you are.', she chattered and placed a cup of coffee on the table.  
>'Camping while such a weather? And ... did you know them?'<p>

'Hey, don't you insult our fabulous summer-like weather?', she smiled lightly. 'And no, I didn't know any of the girls. I'm not from here. Moved here cause I ran away from my parents. I'm sorry, didn't want to annoy you with my crap.', she laughed.

'Oh you don't. Why did you run away from them?'

'Long story. They became... scary...', the girl claimed and seemed to get paler.

'What do you mean by scary?', Sam asked and looked excited.

'They started to...I ... I don't wanna talk about it.'

Of course she didn't want to talk about it. She didn't even knew Sam's name. Sam could have hit himself for being that stupid.

'Umm. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to be that curious 'bout your stuff. It's just...I'm thankful for everything that makes me think 'bout something else but my...', Sam cleared his throat, he nearly had said 'but my brother', instead he told her: 'but my ex. She left me a few days ago...so I'm a little...confused.', to underline his statement he put his best puppy-face on.

'Oh I know that feeling. By the way I'm Nelly, how do you feel about cinema after I'm finished here?', she smiled at him.

'Yeah, sounds great, but I've to confess that I should be working right now. So let's say, you give me your phone number and I call you later?'

'Sounds good...well see ya then.', she mumbled when she wrote down her number on a piece of paper.

See ya then. She wasn't happy about his reaction, of course she wasn't. He wouldn't have reacted different if she treated him like that. At the moment he left the cafe, he knew he would not phone her. Not that she wasn't good looking or too uninteresting in any other way, just that he knew his heart belonged to somebody else. To somebody who just had decided to spend his weekend with an angle.  
>Sam wished himself far away to an alternative universe where he and Dean were no brothers and Castiel was nothing but his vessel Jimmy. Wishing only doesn't heal a broken heart, and tried to concentrate on his job.<p>

There were already three victims, the died near the forest and were found free from any blood. Well, if that wasn't something. He was about to enter the town library, when his phone rang. 


	6. Friday the 13th

Chapter 5

They decided to improve Castiel's knowledge about human nature.

'So, humans really do enjoy that?', Castiel said and pointed at the TV.

'Yes, they do. Well most of them. Have you ever been to a cinema?'

'No. But somebody told me it is something like TV, just bigger.'

'Yeah. That's right so far. After you got better we definitely should go and see a film in the cinema, do you like horror films?', Dean asked.

'I...don't know.', Castiel answered uncertainly.

'Well, how do you feel 'bout figuring that out? We've got awful lots of time and you can't do much more than sitting and talking till you feel better.'

Castiel wasn't sure how he actually felt about watching horror films, but Dean seemed really excited about it, so he yield to it.

'Alright. We've got...'House of Wax', 'Scream', 'Poltergeist', 'Friday the 13th', and 'My Bloody Valentine' the protagonist is very handsome...Sammy said he'd remind him of me.', Dean said meanwhile he closed the curtains of Bobby's living room.

It got very dark inside and Castiel wasn't sure what Dean was doing that for.

'Well. 'Friday the 13th' and 'My Bloody Valentine' do sound...interesting.', Castiel said.

'Awesome choice Cass!', Dean laughed. 'Let's start with Friday the 13th.', Dean placed the DvD in Bobby's player.

The intro started and Dean looked slightly at Castiel. Dean never thought of himself as gay, but this guy made him feel so...damned in love.

After the first half hour of the film Castiel was pretty sure he did not like horror films. This murderer slaughtered one human after the other and Castiel wondered why those teenagers still camped there while they knew a murderer did his best to kill them. When the killer murdered his next victim, Castiel took Dean's hand.

'If it's too scary, we can stop it...', Dean said.

'No, it's a... nice film.', Castiel nodded like he wanted to underline his statement and slid closer to Dean.

Dean couldn't help smiling about the angel's behaviour. He tenderly wrapped his arm around Castiel's shoulder.

Just in the moment Castiel felt Dean's arm around him, he felt safe.

'It's Jason!', the DvD yelled, when Castiel looked up to Dean.

The angel wasn't sure if it really were the words he'd been searching for, and know that he got them he wasn't sure if he was brave enough to use them.

'I love you.', Castiel whispered and was happy it was dark in the room because otherwise Dean might have seen how Castiel blushed from pale to red.

'What did you say?', Dean asked unbelievingly. Did his Cass just confess to love him?

'Nothing.', Castiel tried to lie.

'Of course you said something, just tell me what you said.'

'I didn't say anything...'

'Cass, come on!'

'Well it may be that I said something like...'

'Cass!'

'I love you.'

No doubt, the angel had said he loved him.

'Cass? I have no fuckin idea why...probably 'cause you rescued me from hell...or 'cause of some other time you saved my ass...but anyway...I love you too.', and with these words, Dean placed his head in Castiel's neck and kissed him softly.

The next film victim died and another one, and one more and after that a couple more, neither Dean nor Castiel cared, they were totally lost in the heat of touching hands, meeting lips and feeling the breath of the other one.

'Cass? I lied to you. I don't love you.', Dean said and stopped talking for some horrible seconds.  
>'I don't love you, I adore you.', he teased slightly.<p>

'Hey. It's Bobby...I got them! Well, more or less. At the moment it looks more like less. Let's face it...they got me. Ah what ever, if you could swing your ass over here. I think they are asleep so...', Bobby ended the call before Sam could say a word. Only seconds later he got a text message including co-ordinates which directed Sam to an old mine near the forest where the girls died.

Awesome. Simply awesome, Sam thought and started to walk in the shown direction. He had no car. His brother was alone with an damned good looking angel. His godfather was about to be killed by vampires. What could his day brighten up even more?  
>'No I'm not saying anything. He thought, we he felt the rain soaking his shirt. After an hour a blue, small car stopped next to him.<p>

'So I'm finished working. Seems you could need a ride?', a smiling Nelly looked up to him. He was happy to see somebody who didn't just use him, so he decided to accept her offer.

'To be honest: Yes, I do. But I'm after an very violent tribe... I mean...gang. We suggest them to be the murderers of the girls.', Sam said as formal as possible.  
>'YOU do? So you're the FBI or...?'<br>'Yeah...got me.', Sam smiled politely.

'So then, let me do my civil duty. Come in here.'  
>When he sat down next to her she looked at him and asked: 'So where do we go?'<br>Without a word Sam passed her the phone with the coordinates. They drove down the road silently.  
>'Not that chatty anymore, huh?', Nelly joked.<p>

'No, I just got the message that my, um...one of my best men got caught by the...gang.', he sighed  
>'I guess we're there.' She stopped the engine and opened the car.<p>

'I think...Ouch!', Sam shouted when he knocked his head on the top of the small car.

'What I wanted to say was, that I think you'd better stay here!' Sam said in a rough tone, when he recognised Nelly laughed.

'Well, I don't care! Come along!', she giggled cutely.

Before he could say anything else she already reached the entrance of the mine.

The obligatory 'Caution! Beware of blablabla!' was sprayed on the dark wooden and rotten doors. Without a seconds hesitation she opened the door with a loud creak. Was she so stupid and reckless or did she do stuff like that often?  
>They walked through the wet darkness, when he suddenly felt a sharp something in his shoulder.<p>

'So you actually came to rescue your friend?', a female voice chuckled. It sounded like Nelly, but so much more demonic.

'You're right, it's me. Let's have a feast tonight nah?', lightning eyes stared at him.  
>He felt another bite and reached for his gun. He felt the calming skin-warm metall in his hand.<p>

'Oh well Miss Beastly. I guess it's time to say goodbye to your lovin' parents.', he shouted and pulled the trigger.

'I don't need to say goodbye, they're already dead.', she said. 'And I'm afraid you won't kill me either.'

'Oh I don't think so, just look at you. Wooden bullets you know?' Sam laughed and decapitated her with one silky move.  
>'Here you are, whore.', he whispered and kept moving into the mine.<p>

He followed the railway tracks until he heard some nervous voices.  
>'We can't kill him. Can we?'<p>

'We have to. Do it.'  
>'If we want to stay alive we must kill him. So let's kill him.'<p>

'There's just one mistake in your fantastic plan. You are already dead, so tell me, how can you stay alive?', that was Bobby.  
>Sam stepped into the room and held the gun in his hands.<p>

'Let's see how alive you are after I'm finished.', Sam said dryly and shot the three vampires down. Before they came back on their feet he cut their heads of.

'Seems like we're finished here.', Bobby said.

'We are?'

'Yes it were only the four of them. They were young and under Eve's order. And they were some hybrid stuff...able to walk through light sunlight.'

'So YOU got caught by three vampires?'

'Don't ask. It's a very bad day.', Bobby snorted.  
>'You're definitely the only one with that opinion.', Sam said, when his phone rang.<p>

'It's Dean. I need your help.'

That's it. Nothing else. No 'please' or 'I miss you' or at least a 'hello'.  
>Sam's day got better with every minute.<p> 


	7. Better place?

Chapter 6

two hours earlier ...

'But I...don't wanna force you into this...if you don't...', Dean said between two kisses.  
>'Dean, I am an angel, do you really think I'd let you do this if I didn't like it?', Cass said and appeared to be very serious.<br>'You damned freak.', Dean said. 'This is ill, maybe even blaspheme, nah?. I shouldn't start something with somebody like you.'  
>Dean laughed when he saw Cass' face.<p>

Castiel looked worried and sad, so Dean added hasty 'nah, just kidding', and smiled lovingly.  
>Thank god, Castiel thought and sunk in another kiss.<p>

They were about to relieve themselves from their clothes, when Castiel screamed out loudly. Dean took a look of Castiel's hip and felt a numb beat in his stomach.

'What do ya think has happened? Cass nah?' Bobby asked as Sam drove home as fast as he could.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. But I guess we'll find out earlier than we like to.' Sam answered. He wasn't sure what exactly he expected, but he hoped Dean was fine. He knew it sounded far more than egoistic, but he worried more about Dean than Castiel, and not only because of that 'blood is thicker than friendship' thing.  
>During the last few hours he got clear about his feelings. His sick, disgusting feelings. His feelings for his own brother.<br>Now he had to free his mind to help his brother with whatever has happened. He couldn't imagine standing in front of him or even looking into his eyes, but he knew he would have to.

On Castiel's bright grey t-shirt, one could see a even brighter red spot which spread continuously.

'Cass. Why didn't you say something?', Dean asked worriedly and furiously at the same time. Suddenly Castiel felt very sick. He wanted to say something, but he just didn't catch the right words. His head felt like it was spinning around and everything around him became unclear and gloomy. He felt how the sore, dry feeling in his throat passed by and then fade into blood collecting in his mouth. In his actual situation he had no chance to heal himself.

'Damned Cass. I am bloody talking to you. Don't you close your eyes now. I swear, after I saved you I will definitely kill you. Come on, hang in there you son of a bitch. Cass I beg you...', Dean seemed to become more and more desperate. Castiel felt his arms around him. It felt good. He felt Deans lips on his skin for a last time.

'Dean...', Castiel said while his voice sounded wet and blood soaked.  
>He couldn't keep talking so he formed the last three words with his lips.<br>'I love you too.' Dean said and got beaten by the feeling he just heard the last words of Castiel's.

Castiel felt a sudden silence around him.  
>There was no more crying of lost souls.<p>

There were no more problems to worry about.

He wouldn't have to fight anymore.  
>It was ended.<p>

He found his end in the arms of his love.

A beautiful, melancholic and somehow calming way to leave, Castiel thought.

'He is dead! He killed him!', the TV cried and Dean started to moan.

Could one just leave? From now till forever? Some people trust in rebirth, others believe in heaven or hell or even purgatory. Some people even say, wherever we go after death, it was a better place.  
>Dean Winchester knew both existed, heaven and hell. He had been to both a couple of times. But from time to time someone left for eternity and wasn't supposed to come back. One of those had just left. His very own angle finally found his way to a better place. At least that was what he hoped. Castiel had earned his salvation.<br>Dean drunk the last bit of whiskey and placed the bottle loud on the floor. What would Castiel's heaven look like? No not 'would', what 'did' Castiel's heaven look like? Would Dean be able to follow him if he died too, right now?  
>Dean opened the locker in Bobby's kitchen and took a hard, silvery thing out of it.<br>He knelt down next to Castiel. I'm gonna die right now, right here, with him in my arms, he thought. At least this way, I am the one who decides about my death.

When they arrived at Bobby's, Sam felt something horrible must have happened. His intuition got supported by the sudden scream which came from inside the house.

It couldn't be. It shouldn't be.

Sam closed the door with a loud bang and ran inside the house. What he saw when he entered the corridor made him feel numb. He wished he could cry, but he just couldn't. What he saw, were his brother and a bloodied Castiel. Sam didn't need to ask, he knew Castiel had died.

When he saw what Dean held in his hands he stepped forward without any expression of feelings.

A gun? Honestly Dean? No demonic pact or deal or something? For him you would die? Sam knew how stupid that was. He knew heaven was a better place to rest, far better than hell. Although he felt this pain inside him. It was this sudden emotion that made him shiver. This awareness that he loved him. He wouldn't forgive himself if he let Dean die. So he stepped forward and said the worst he could have said.

'He's at a better place now.', Sam said and took the gun out of Deans hands.

* * *

><p><em>The ending.?<em>


	8. More than before

_So guys, here we go again. I'd still be thankful for every review.  
>Enjoy ^-^ <em>

* * *

><p>Chapter 7<p>

A couple of days had passed by, and Dean did his best to deal with the loss of his best friend and his lover. Sam and Bobby tried to keep his thoughts off it, but they didn't succeed.

Why? Why is it always me who loses everybody? I know I'm not the best good guy on earth and I did my mistakes, but does that make me deserve this?

He knew it was kind of part of his job, but he didn't want to get used to it. This needed to stop and there must have been a way to bring him back. To bring Castiel back.

'Dean? Come over here, it's lunch time.' Sam tried to convince his brother.

'No. Not hungry. I have to look something up...in Bobby's library.' Dean replied, as he just had an idea about what could save Castiel.

'If doesn't start to eat in a week, I will check him in.' Bobby mumbled.

Dean knew he once had read something about rituals which raised angels, probably this would work? He ran through the house and let his fingers wander across the dusty shelves. He looked for a small book, it was about deep black magic and Bobby never used it, from what Dean knew. There it was. Dean blew off the dust and took a closer look at the book. It said 'Necromonicon'. Full of euphoria, Dean opened the first pages. He skipped some pages and finally found the page his was looking for.

The script explained how to draw the formula which would bring the angel back. He would need fresh blood of a lamb, blood of a person who was in contact with the angel, a plenty of candles and the worst of it: the angel's vessel.

'An angel who's vessel got killed, may still have a chance to return.

Even if the death was caused by angelic weapons, but be warned: This is just a possibility, no guarantee!  
>To return into our world, the angel will need his vessel or at least a person who is supposed to be a vessel.'<p>

Castiel's vessel? It was ripped, so Dean would need another vessel. There weren't so many people he knew, that could be vessels... Could he probably...no that wouldn't work. Or would it?

'Dean? You've been sitting here for about two hours. Come on! Talk to me! Remember what you once told me? What is dead should stay dead.' Sam said as he found Dean with the Necromonicon in his hands.

'Yeah, you're probably right, let's not waste time shall we?' Dean replied and ran into the kitchen to catch the lamb's blood, some candles and a knife. Sam followed him and spoke to him, but Dean didn't listen, he was obsessed by the idea to get Castiel back.

He took all the stuff he needed including some scotch and closed Bobby's cellar door behind him.

Sam knocked at the door and shouted at him.

Dean placed the candles in a big circle around him, draw a symbol with the lamb's blood and knelt down in the middle of it. He started to whisper the adjuratory formula and his voice got louder and stronger with every word he spoke. The silvery knife shimmered in the gloomy cellar, as he sliced his veins open.

'It's me Cass. I don't no if this thing works but... let's try it.' He swallowed half the bottle scotch. Then he drew a cross of blood on his breast.

His voice shook as he spoke the last words of the chant.

The candles flickered but nothing else happened.

Suddenly Dean felt the hot breathe burning on his skin. He closed his eyes and turned around slowly. Not daring to open his eyes, he reached out cautiously. The familiar touch of this garment he already supposed to be gone for ever.

'Dean...' this voice of which he had thought he would never hear it again.

'Castiel?' Dean asked and opened his eyes. He perceived a hazy vision of the angel he wished to be there.

'Why did you do that? I am not physically here. This is just a illusion which is projected by your mind. I have no vessel to stay so I got somehow bound to your...body.' the angel said sadly looking.

'So what? You're now in me or what?' Dean smiled sadly.

'Yes. That's right. But you won't be able to keep it that way. Your body can't host us both. You shouldn't have done this. Dean.'

Dean shivered when Castiel said his name.

'I'm stronger than you think. We'll find a way to deal with it. You have no clue what this feels like, to see you again.' Dean breathed.

'Oh I do know. But I'm pretty sure it can't beat being inside you.' Castiel grinned, obviously he understood the ambiguity of his words.

'Yeah you're right, that's a privilege.' Dean said and smiled.

'Dean? Whom are talking to? I gonna come in now!' Sam yelled, since Dean hadn't answered him but seemed to talk to himself.

'No need to, I'm gonna come out.' Dean said as he walked to the door.

'Dean. Remember, he won't see me. I'm still just an illusion.' Castiel declared.

'Yeah, gotta fix that soon.' Dean said suddenly understanding what this must sound like to his brother.

'So after you decided to start talking to me. Whom were you talking to before?' Sam asked.

'To the angel on my shoulder. See, I got a little jealous of your little devil on your shoulder so I...'

'Stop talking rubbish. What's the matter? I know what he meant to you, but you can't bring him back. I'm starting to worry Dean.' Sam said and looked at Dean glumly.

'No need to. I'm fine, actually better than the whole last week.' Dean cheered.

'What did you do with the Necromonicon?' Sam asked.

'You tried to raise him with some kind of black magic, didn't you?'

'Yes I did. And I don't care whether it's right or wrong.' Dean replied glancing at Castiel.

'Dude you went crazy.' Sam shook his head as they went upstairs.

'Don't listen to him. We can make it.' Dean thought.

'I know.' He heard the angel's voice in his ear.

'And know why? Because I love you.' Dean thought.

'I do too. Even more than before.' Castiel replied.

* * *

><p><em>Tbc.<em>


End file.
